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"Withholding Forgiveness"

Updated: Aug 26, 2021

13th Sunday after Pentecost | Read Ephesians 4:25–32

This lesson series “Fighting with Family” is not to coach you or help you discover Biblical methods or tips on how to win every argument or defeat every opponent with the power of God…. on the contrary (and in the sure knowledge that we all must deal with a family drama at some point) that we take the time to explore and identify how to be a faithful disciple in the midst of conflict that is just around the corner.

Why? Because conflict and drama will always exist in our families and because, as disciples, we are not called to avoid conflict. We are called to bear our crosses and learn how to deal with them. See, if you cannot behave according to the teaching of Jesus, in difficult times, in times of conflict, and offer forgiveness despite being attacked or hurt, The faith that you profess today is not faith; it is a mere hobby.

The central idea is this “If you want to learn how to fight well with family, you must practice forgiveness.”

Ephesians as a letter declares that the Christian mystery is no mystery at all. That the good news "The Gospel" is a message of salvation, rather than condemnation. A message that was first revealed to the Apostles and is now available to us. A message of redemption, which is the source of true wisdom, is perhaps an indirect rejection of Gnostic claims to esoteric “Obscure” knowledge of the supernatural and a rejection of the idea of the prosperity gospel. That salvation, redemption through Christ, is offered to Jews and Gentiles alike.

The author is telling us… The followers of Christ, the disciples of Christ, the Apostle of Christ to lead exemplary Christian lives always and to arm themselves with the “shield of faith,” “the helmet of salvation,” and “the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” (chapter 6: verses 16–17), to resist the tricks of the devil.

Church, let us be free to tell our families the truth, for we are all parts of the same body and that as believers, we should not Sin by letting ANGER control us. Ephesians teaches us that we should not "Go to be bed Angry” because that anger gives traction to satan, to do more destruction, to contaminate everything that you love, especially the things that you wish to protect and preserve.

Church remember that to fight well means that you don’t fight for the sake of fighting or the desire to be right; your goal is not to win and prove the other person wrong. Your goal is to reach a mutual benefit position, where all the parties involved can safely face and benefit from the outcome. In other words, fighting well means that you are willing to fight or enter conflict for a better tomorrow for all of the parties involved. Why? Because what’s happening today… is unsustainable tomorrow.

Church, believe this… Forgiveness is not a commodity, which you can afford to give at your pleasure. We are in a place that is a work in progress… Forgiveness is not the “tip” for services rendered, but forgiveness is “the kitchen” where the best recipes are crafted, prepared, and served.

Peter Lencioni says that the five dysfunctions of a team and a family are a team. The five dysfunctions are 1. Absence of Trust, 2. Fear of Conflict, 3. Lack of Commitment, 4. Avoidance of Accountability and 5. Inattention to Results.

Regarding the “Fear of conflict,” Lencioni states that it is the second dysfunction that prevents teams/families from reaching their true potential. This “fear” is an unwillingness to engage in a productive, unfiltered debate that ultimately leads to discomfort, stress, and growth. He says that “productive conflict“ is the equivalent of an energetic workout for the family – it builds strength and resilience and leads to success.

Church, let us tell our families the truth of forgiveness, for we are all parts of the same body, so do not let ANGER control you so, you will offer forgiveness because of Grace. Church, do not withhold forgiveness, rather be free to love one another, and Christ has loved us.

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